Poetry2

Poems 2003 to 2015

 

 

Click here to see some of my lyrics

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 2015

 

Mime Love

 

Sometimes

You’ll tell

Me to go

Away but

Hidden in

Your heart

You

Want Me

And yearn to say

“Don’t ever

Go and please

Forever stay”

But all I ever hear

Are the words

Whilst

The emptiness

Between them

Is just a mute

Mime artist

Delivering the best

Performance

Of our love

In the dark

So good

I exit

Stage

Left

 

28/4/15

 

NIGHT IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH YOU

 

I walked with you

Through the sound of bells

To the taxi

To the hotel

Then in the room with a wooden ceiling

Took off your clothes

And next to me

Your mouth upon mine

You whispered my name

With words that later would come to be

Whispered in dreams again.

Then orange blue upon you

You saw

You saw

You knew

 

The clouds for a moment red and green

Before night fell

We prayed:

“Give us our love and  friendship this night

As we give our love to each other”

 

You touched me again

I drank from your skin

And the sweat within

Your mouth breathed in to me

The heat of you

Close to

Too much

Almost

Not enough

 

The sunrise will, of course, in time

Rise across these empty sheets

Shadows will be long

So as to cover the story of you and me

Between lines that can’t be drawn too easily

And where later I would try to change

To keep you

But lose you all the same

Then once you’d gone

Would change again

 

Now night time

It comes again and again

Like a sad old friend

Sitting quietly

Slowly taking everything

 

Except that night, back then.

 

25/04/2015

 

 

Why Couldn’t You Just Tell Me

01/03/2015

 

Why couldn’t you just tell me

That you wanted to go?

I asked if you felt distant

And you replied “no”

So we carried on walking

But you seemed to stray

And I noticed you taking

All we had away

 

So I asked you if you were leaving

And you replied “no”

But I looked out the window

And heard the door close

I thought of the love

That had once been so plain

So I asked if you loved me

“Oh, please, not again”

 

I thought of what had been

And I saw what remained

And in silence I stood

My heart filled with pain

And I asked you to tell me

At least to explain

But you spoke of nothing

Not even of  blame

 

I could feel you aiming

To be just be a friend

“A new beginning”

Speaks nothing of the end

 

But when I asked you to be clear

You said “Not again”

As you took one more thing

To bring us closer

To the end

 

But why couldn’t you just tell me

That you wanted to go?

It would have helped me to believe

What I already know

 

 

2014

 

Poem for a text to speech synthesiser

 

There is something about the austere reverential trudge

Of a poet reading a poem

That moves me

To a murderous compulsion

Unintended I expect

Rhyming with everything that I regret

And written with the greatest of respect

 

26/10/2014

 

Simon Mark Smith

 

 

Break It

 

Love, I got to see you

My lover, my friend

I got to feel our minds entwine

For all time

Until the end

 

Night Time is our quiet time

Dark skies are our friends

 

If you’re gonna drive this road one day

You got to pull up close but do not stay

Pull down the roof and let me drive

Recline your seat and watch dark skies

 

But don’t you listen

To the rambling of that old man

Cos it’s the secret code of the night sky

That you should never understand

Tonight

 

First you gonna take it

Then you’ll make it

Then you’ll mistake it

Then you’ll break it

 

Oh you can’t resist

Got to go

Oh illusions

Do exist you know

Oh a secret kiss is there

To show

Truth

What lies below

 

I’ll be driving on a long road

In a car that’s silent and true

I’ve got that secret code in my eyes

And all I see is

“I love you”

 

05/01/2014

 

The Connected

 

 

 

I sense an impasse

The world betrayed

Souls can’t always be

With those they dream

 

Words unsure

Pursue the distancer

Grip tight the meant to be’s

 

The journey is for those who know

And for those that doubt

The connected do not think it safe or right

 

 

26/01/2014

Simon Mark Smith

 

 

Autumn Day

 

Long time has gone

Now I know it wrong

But life has helped me see

What was meant to be

 

The light it comes

The light it stays

Oh love it comes along

And fades away, away now.

 

Did the mist fall cold and low

Around the love we’d made

Did the rain mix the colours deep

Upon that autumn day

 

And did you breathe the damp air in

When we walked away

And was the rain cold on your skin

Upon that autumn day?

 

Oh love it falls

One dark day

Starlings fly away

They rise and they fall

 

Two years have passed and

I know you well

I know your kiss

And I know you’ll tell

 

 

I was lost and lonely

So many moons did fade

I saw them drift away

Like a dream that cannot be

 

Why do leaves fall

When they’re so beautiful

Why does love go

When we thought that it’d grow

 

Keep walking on

Keep calling to the sea

Somewhere up there they’ll see

Somewhere up there’ll see

 

Our hope is strong

Through the mud we’ll go on

And at the end of fear

We’ll find life’s been waiting here

 

Keep moving on

Keep moving though it may freeze

Our love loves on

Our love shines upon frozen seas

Keep moving on

Our love loves on

 

Jan 2014

2011

 

Not Enough

 

 

There’s not enough money

Not enough love

Not enough ideas coming from above

Not enough children

Not enough food

Not enough people not being rude

Not enough love

Not enough you

Not enough me

Not enough queues

Not enough people unwilling to

Use or abuse

 

Not enough love comes to me

Not enough love comes to she

Not enough love for the Lord

Not enough love for us all

 

Not enough interest

Not enough pay

Not enough people working today

Not enough warmth

Not enough clothes

Not enough people willing to flow

Not enough people coming

Not enough people willing to go

 

Not enough people here

Not enough for me to fear

Not enough for you

I’m not enough for you

Not enough love to keep my heart true

To you

 

Not enough music

Not enough film

Not enough TV to fill me in

Not enough loving coming my way

Not enough poetry to make me stay

Not enough people willing to pray

Not enough people going today

 

Not enough snow

Not enough rice

Not enough people willing to be nice

Not enough people coming my way

Not enough people willing to pay

Not enough,

Not enough

Not enough for you

 

Not enough love

For me and you.

 

26/12/2011

 

Be The One

 

Gonna be the one you didn’t want me to be

Be the one to fall to my knees

Be the one to fall at your feet

 

26/12/2011

 

 

 

 

2009

Silent Birds

 

“Silent bird trace the horizon”

And in this world atones despair

Where words could meet the sky

I had a blind drunk, blind spot try

Which urged the sky a gale

You read me like a dot of Braille

That ended up stopping

At the end of the line.

You asked to touch me one more time

And one more time and one more time

Your fingers read the scene

But the words you read weren’t what I mean

The silent birds disturbed your touch

Where sad disclosures release the clutch.

Sometimes being word blind is just,

Just a little

Too much like writing double Dutch.

28/05/09

 

2008

 

Words are Brief

 

Yesterday you sent me love,

So many petals scattered

We lay in each others’ arms

The afterimage of your eyes

Is imprinted in mine

Your soft kisses of goodbye

Gently eased the sorrow

 

Today, your words are brief

Your kisses are neatly lined

I can not sense the truth

I feel your hand hold mine

Are you just tired

Or will you ask your words

Back home without me?

 

May 2008 8:44:55 PM

 

2007

 

 

“Meet Me On The Pier” 18 March 2007 Take two

And action

I open the door, you smile at the camera,

The stars that guide you guide me too

Fast forward

We climb the stairs

Rewind

Your fingers kiss

Pause

A moment there

Slow mo replay

In my arms

You rise

I fall

Quiet

From crying laughter

Play Animation sequence

Our naked love Is born

Lip-Sync

My mouth fills with your taste

My heart is full of night,

Fade to white

Your sleepy breathing

Offers me a fall

Make-up!

Then a height

 

Jenny is the set ready?

Across the sea the boat lights shine

The stars that guide them guide me too

Zoom, then blur

To the touch of your lips on mine

Can’t wait for the rushes

Roll credits

“My darling, for your love I thank you”

 

Jenny

For God’s sake love!

Meet me in the water

Come with me upon our bed

Dissolve

Even if the evening wind

Catches our last breath

Lower lights please

I want to sleep beneath your weight

Under the same roof

Is there something you can’t see

Strobe transitions

Are dreams your truth?

End titles commence

“What if what you do

Kills the love of those who love you?”

Close up

I look in to the sorrow of your gaze

Flash fade

In ecstatic fear you close your eyes

Freeze frame

 

Jen!

Meet me on the pier,

Or in the water

Where it meets the sky.

Fade to grey

Meet me in the shadows of our love

Silence please we’re almost finished

And greet me in the kisses of goodbye.

And cut

 

 

The Map

 

Sitting in a café

The woman

Behind me

Has walked out

Half drunk

Hot chocolate

Plays on the radio

 

Where we had touched

Is visible today

But the traces of you

Shall soon

Be washed away

 

The map of our journey

Like a small island

In the strong morning light

Suggests a world

Without you

Punctures

This peace

I am crushed beneath the desert sands

Drowned in the rivers that have run from us

Through the Garden Of Eden

To a land of silence

I am lost

Down stream

“I feel a bit resentful”

“I imagine you do”

“I feel cursed,

To be with someone

Who is not you”

 

“I’m sorry, I shall leave reminders of me

And will always remember you.

You’ve been so understanding”

“I have no option”

“Well goodbye then”

 

A man jumps through the café door and startles the waitress

He laughs and says “You don’t look like you appreciated that”

 

My house keeper cleans

All traces of you shall be gone

We will both fade in to the list of lovers

Whose dreams we learned to forget

 

I will sit in a café

Recognise you in a mirror

You’ll notice nothing

I will not reach out

To touch you

I will wonder

What all this was about

And this will be the only evidence

Of my sadness

 

Simon Smith 24 March 2007

 

 

2004

 

Lest we forget

I heard you turn away
Your leaving gently freed
The thoughts that fall and rise like sleeping
breathing in me,
The shallow hollow of words agreed

I have the truth and it is wrong
I would believe your kind
Appeasing kisses
Lying upon my bed
Your breathing is strong,
Long,
Once gone
It smells of broken dreams

I read your thoughts upon the moon light
You’ll escape through the covers
Shadows chased us to this moment
In time
For a long time
You whisper to a dream that I am yours
While you gesture you’re not and will never be mine.
Again
The moon struck a shadow
Upon these words
Where it was light you laughed
Silence betrayed the rest
And what was left was hushed
And marked
” Lest we forget”

 

09/08/2005

Four kisses
I do not fear death
I fear losing you though
There was a life before we met
And this life
With the you that I know
Your love, like a dying soul
Has lost its memory
And you may be gone soon
But this connection
Is four kisses wide
And a thousand
Painful missed
Kisses deep

I will wait for you a while
I will hold our breath
I will hold you ’til you
Dream without me
Until you no longer
Hold me

Then these four kisses
Will tell of what you cared
To forget
And I wish you’d remember.

X X X X – Each for our connection
between mind, body, heart and soul. To A

20/06/2005

 

4 nights

You’re asleep one thousand miles away
I feel your head weigh quiet upon my shoulder
Your fading breath rises to darkness
This is the sky that connects us

Your face turns towards me
Your lips touch mine in passing
Your breath enters me
Draws me deeper into our dreams

I feel the pain you sleep upon
The fast of misunderstanding’s echoes
40 days and 40 years
And 4 nights of pain remain

In the darkness
Holding you
I await

24th December 2004 – To A

 

Breakfast memory

The bread is as we left it this morning
Its slices have draped themselves in to the shape of a figure sleeping
Breakfast debris across the table, a movement forgotten
Has dreamt of nothing since we silenced this house of laughter

The winter light has brushed the shadows
To extremes of yearning
From the rush
To the hush of our departure

I will sleep upon stones when you’re not with me
In the morning your half opened eyes will heal me
In the tea we pour is our compassion
In the bread that we eat is our daily life
Shared in the love of morning.

07/12/2004 – To A

 

Calling you

 

You stand in this public place
For privacy
You’re at the top of the stairs talking on your mobile phone
I pass you
I want to step in to your arms, back first, look round
My closed mouth stroking across your face

The signal is bad

The staircase is white
I can’t stop my self from singing
“She’s buying a stairway to heaven”
But actually I feel it’s me who’s started making offers
But ended up begging.

As I work
Your dark figure wraps around my mind
I want to keep you in the corner of my eye
But your eyes pour tears into mine

When we are distant I close my eyes
To affirm your intention of non participation
But when you are near
I want to feel you empty yourself within me
Your heaviness upon me

Boots and a skirt I can not help but laugh

You ask me to sing a song for you
My heart and breath serenade habitual dark longing echoes
But from where you are there is just the sound of a voice saying

“Hello I can’t hear you
Can you hear me?”

And then just silence.

To A and EH
© Simon Smith London September 2004

 

These days are not for ever
These days are not for ever
They will slide in to our history
Like paper on a river
One day they’ll float out to sea

These days are gonna float away

Sometimes you’ll be here
Taking my heart
Some days you’ll feel here
At the start

But come to me
And you’ll feel my heart despair
And my breath upon your neck
And my face against your hair

Sometimes you’ll feel that the night is dark as ice
And the love we had is all we had to guide us to paradise

The darkest night will come to you
No matter where you hide
It’s part of life she says to me
As she takes me inside

But the darkest night
Can be warm inside
Can be warm
For you and I

We live in a world
Where strangers come
And greet us like old friends
They come with gifts that make us feel good
And leave us to defend against the hatred

31 / 07 / 04

 

 

Leaning evening

 

I lean out my window to feel the warm air brush me with good news.

My neighbours are laughing,

Another’s barking dog is hushed

His name escapes down the street

“Archie!”

Then it is quiet

 

The smell of cooked food from a thousand gardens pleads with me

I look along the path for a hungry neighbour

 

Car light search lights warn me

Of a curfew’s virtue

I keep my room dusky for now

Wrapped in shadowed blurriness

A cyclist treads slow past my window

The wind’s low

My papers rustle to the floor

And these trees echo the gentle shiverings

 

16/06/2004
© Simon Smith

The poems beyond this point are mainly laid out chronollogically and are unedited for now.

2003

You read my words
But my voice is as silent as light
My heart darts in
And out of shadows
Between buildings
Photographs of me are falling from trees
But to you they are merely leaves

To you I am a doubt
You look for a face
Through the eyes of a mask
I am a soldier of infedility
Carrying the light of mystery
In to your version of reality

Written with the help of an online friend “Rachel”
27th March 2003

 

 

I am alone at my place.
Your joke walks in the room
We break the silence
Your fingers trace laughter lines
That bind me to you
Moments snatched and stretched linger
I am frightened by their enormity
And confused by this feeling’s simplicity

I fell backwards into the river
Your arms catch me unaware
Where I expected to be shocked
Is a wave of calm silently washing over me.
18th May 2003

 

You are spinning slowly in the corner of my eye
A crowd gathers around, applauds your beauty
I feel the emptiness drone through
Your audience is smiling, gazing at your eyes
You walk off stage, no one has seen you
My eyes are full of tears seeping through a dream

I am standing above a seated woman
She faces away from me
I breathe in her scent
Breathing in a memory

“I have waited ten life-times to meet you
I am willing to wait 10 more”
Breathing memories between lives
Two swans swim in the black sky river
I recognise your beauty in this silence

May 24th 2003

 

Everything that dies 
Comes to sleep in dreams
The bright sun light shines
I dance this way
I dance that way
With you for a second
The heat reaching up
I’m scared of the fear
How many hands have passed upon your face?
Fading life, failing light, words insight
My finger follows the journey of your smile
To a life reserved.
But not for me

A dog in the evening sunlight smells the air
I dance a circle around him
His eyes half close
I push my face into his neck
I am connected to you
Through everything anywhere.

It does not matter that you aren’t there.

May 27th 2003

 

 

I step left

Your sword rushes air upon my face
Slow motion moments are drawing quietly

It is not death that strikes fear through me
But your wish to help me die in agony

Your eyes search for weakness
Mine sense your yearning

I sway my right side away from you
Your imbalance is an opportunity

You start to fall, your face sleeps
You dream of surrendering

Your hands grip ever harder
We do not plan to die

Only the moment slides.

28th May 2003

 

She walks out of our home
“I’ll probably be back later, when will you be out?” The place is a mess.

I feel calm, slightly sad, not sure what to do with my self.
Not panicking, but waiting for a compulsive urge to search her out
I have been searching for her for 9 years and have not found her
I mourned for her throughout this whole time

Here at the end of the grieving she closes the door but takes the keys
“Relationships don’t end they just change” I said when I asked her to leave

It’s a windy grey rainy landscape we stand in
These cross roads are painted across my mind (they cross in anger, our paths keep crossing, separating ways, and crossing our hearts).
Where we crucify our love and pray for it to rest in peace or find resurrection, and for it to forgive our trespasses.

Goodbye means God be with you
And in every goodbye is an echo of every goodbye we endured.

22/06/2003

 

Words written on my mobile phone while driving through America

It doesn’t matter that you’re not here
That you don’t call me
Or tell me where you are,
You’re in my mind still
Moving through the world.

Missing you,
You are sleeping 6000 miles away.
Can you feel my sadness?

l would call you but you are happier dreaming.
As you wake I lay my head to rest.
Our heads are together briefly.

l reach out but you are already preparing for your day.
So I close my eyes and dream you are with me.
DREAM:

You and I are talking
I notice you are starting to cry.
l give you a gesture of a hug and unlike in real life you reciprocate.

Then we are standing / sitting on a railway line
As I move closer you move away almost unconsciously
So I tell you and you laugh, then you move towards to me.

Dream Ends
We are all looking for someone to fall in to.
Some one who we still think is beautiful after our lust has gone.
Someone we can trust not to betray us
Who can hold us close in their mind when we aren’t there.
Someone we can fall in to.
Who like a trampoline
Will help us to land safely and bounce back again.

It is enough to be near you

 

Late July to eary August 2003

 

 

I can not read the words in front of me

I Listen for the sound of your key turning in the door

I Walk through the house looking for you

I Listen for your voice

Every taxi that pulls up

I hope carries you on a compulsive quest

 

I Want to bring you what you need

I Want to help you where I can

But you will not enter,
Will not speak,
Will not ask
And will not trust me.

9th August 2003

 

 

I can not bear that you’re not here

Each tear that falls from my eyes

Hits true

Upon you like a pin

And though I want for you and I to be together

Neither of us knows whether that’s a dream

Sliding away from reality

 

Tonight driving through the hot drunk crowds of a Saturday in August

My throat felt constricted by an invisible hand

My chest felt squeezed tight

I wanted to be gently sleeping next to you

Your legs resting around me until the heat became too much.

 

The whole world could disappear.

 

Tonight I entered my dark house alone

No cats, lover, lodgers or friends to greet me,

But notions of love hold me upright

 

I mourn you so much in this silence.

 

I know I will be happy again

I will hold you tomorrow maybe

Yet one day we will part forever

And tonight I am remembering that

And all the other love that washed upon me

Then fled with the moon.

 

10th August 2003

 

 

A million people sit together, alone waiting.
Listening for their lost one’s key to turn
Looking out the window at every passing taxi
In case their love is returning
Walking through every room to see if they’ve come home
Finding only sunlight cast across their bed

Fear racks through every pore,
A slight sweat that is too warm
No hunger -
The D diet (depression, divorce, distance, dislocated, disenchanted)

In dreams she is still here.
I will sleep until I come alive again

 

15th august 2003
You sleep in white rooms

Time ticks slowly from

This way

I turn and time moves slower still

Nine years have passed

Memories move me

Vivid as yesterday

I watch you sleeping

Nine years ago

This morning

I can not tell the difference

We are sleeping in white rooms

Seasons swirl in circles slowly round us

Their colours lightly touch the wall

I kiss you gently

But you do not stir

 

13 September 2003

 

 

Poems from the
Microsoft greetings Card commission

 

Here’s a link to the one that made it

Someone from Microsoft called me on friday and asked if I could prepare a poem for Monday. I came up with about 25 ideas over the weekend. Here’s a couple from the short list.

November 2002

This next poem was meant to be about my relationship with “my talent” …. erhum …. well that’s what they asked for.

We will meet on Bridges across the Thames at 5 am
In smoky bars you’ll capture my heart and
At dawn let it go again
You inspire my children in laughter
Take my thoughts and turn them in to others
Lay gifts at the root of my journeys
Trickle miracles through my fingers
Bring words of peace to troubles
Read poetry in the darkness
Sing silence within me
Give to receive me
Your love to
Teach me
Let me
Be

November 24th 2002

The cold air stroked across my face,
Someone joined the gathering
The warm, damp breath of cattle
Hushed shuffling and mutterings

Upon the straw bed that was mine
That I had layed fresh this day
Water trickled
Like a miracle

 

“{It’s beautiful but} it’s freezing out there”
I look through the window at the silent {moonlit} land {that I call home}
I am reflected in the glass, like the ghost of summers past
I {swivel around to} / {look back at} the windows on my screen
See the places where my dreams have been born laughing to the world
Tonight I’ll take the words we said and bounce them to the moon and back

{Just for the crack}

{I used to stand alone } {I stood alone}
But now the connections permeate my meaning
Those soulful eyes across the world have looked upon me
And filled me with the freedom joy brings and the gratitude of being

Somewhere beneath the snow lie a billion seeds waiting
And every star above me is a soul queuing to live