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Poems 2002 to 2022
Click here to see some of my lyrics
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2021
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Multiple Universes
In all but one
We slept together
Each breath spaced in time
I’ll string some ideas along the way
But I can’t wait forever
As if you didn’t know
Time after time
We are never found
Just recognised
Waving in a frequency of light
2/8/21
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2018
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Brexit,
Islam
Gangs
And Trans
Globalists
Bankers
Grooming Gangs
Elitists
Oligarchs
X Miss understood
The far left
Alt-right
Kids from the hood
There’s Chavs
Universalists
And Europhiles
In London democracy’s
Going out of style
The me-too women
Who didn’t want to know
Artists blame the Jews for their woes
The Nazis
Antifa
The mainstream media
And spies who know
How high the steeple goes
The BBC
Our politically correct
Guardian readers
Say it’s best to forget
Our past and our nature
As it’s all to blame
Along with those
Who want to cross borders again
To the Left of
The neo
Organised crime
Are the EU treaties
Drawing a line
And if you don’t want to buy
What the hard sides sell
Then it’s a rest
In a thought cop
Prison spell
There’s the LGB
Not sure about the T
As freedom of speech
Becomes incendiary
And then, of course
There’s
You and me
Who just can’t see
How we’ll ever
Agree
To
You know
Disagree
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Simon Mark Smith 15/10/2018
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Before the Birds Sing
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Before the birds sing
Before everything
Where the light sky
Touches the night sky
My room awakens
I see you sleeping
Do you see me in your dreams?
We dived there once
Our lungs were heavy then.
Voices from outside distracted me
As we sat up to watch a late night film
He said “I love you”
And she kissed him
I looked to see if you were crying
But you were not
I showed you my tears
“It’s just a film,” you said
So, I breathed them in.
1991/2018 Simon Mark Smith
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Fingered misprints
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Fingered misprints across the sky
Golden mauve
Took a train ride near the common ground
Watched lit windows
Held your mouth to mine
Cigarette smoke
And a smile smelling of wine
Looking for something good
Across the fields
Through the dark
In your eyes
“My crimes are numbed by the inadequacy of my pain”
He then passed apples to the makers of matches
Who stated clearly
“He drove the train that ran over the people.
The tea of the passengers shuddered
And even then, only slightly”
They spoke as if they knew, they didn’t, but they were right.
1991 / 2018 Simon Mark Smith
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Is it you
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I met you twice
The second time was closer
I knew enough to see
The third would never be
“You are not the image in my mind”
Who is it I call to?
My mother, father, a dream or you?
Am I lonely
Psychic
Or psycho-neurotic?
Is it you or someone who I dreamt I knew?
1991 / 2018 Simon Mark Smith
(This was the only poem which referred to my father, who I had not met when I wrote it. When I did finally meet him, I videoed him on our first meeting. He looked at the camera and said “Am I psychic or psychoneurotic”).
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When the Bad Got In
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I sit crossed legged
I should feel sad
The worst thing is
Not knowing
When the bad
Got in
1992 / 2018 Simon Mark Smith
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In Goodbye Came an Assassin
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In goodbye came an assassin
Quietly and kindly
Walking down an orange and black rainy street
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With a razor scratch down each thigh
Her lacerated tongue
A face in the darkness kissed goodbye
She was mild and sad
She told me of her troubled soul
And then across at me with a cold determined unease
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She was not fast
A little too casual
A subtle stranger in my house
Sat down
And waited
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1992 / 2018 Simon Mark Smith
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A Lifetime Later
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In my studio
Paintings wait to be abandoned
It was sweet the way you touched my arm
I said your name
You called me
You stood in black
Then there was the journey back
The conversation
A lifetime later
I feel you passing
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1991 / 2018 Simon Mark Smith
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Almost All
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Now in the quiet
Almost a silent room
Almost all must sleep at night
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Are you in his arms?
Almost the love of your life
Almost all must hold too tight
What colour am I?
Am I in your head
Gambling all on red
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What did you feel?
Something good and strong
Something real
Almost to the depths
But wrong
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1989 / 2018 Simon Mark Smith
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The Bad Samaritan
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The man stood half lit under an arch
Telling me he could find a place where the family could lie
I would have hated to share my room with them
Their happy cardboard faces flapped like hands
Waving frantically goodbye
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1991/2018
Simon Mark Smith
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The Nausea of Over Hopeful Poems and Other Lies I’ve Written
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My room
So immaculate
An imbalance
Of emptiness
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“I don’t like flowery paper”
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Here
I tried to whitewash it to a bass relief
Wallpaper for the blind
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I prefer this room in a half light
The summer dusk
Half drawn curtains
Gesturing to help then collapsing
The breathing of a friend half sleeping
The journeys ending
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Unaware of my whitewashed lies that surround them.
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1989 and 2018
Simon Mark Smith
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The Flesh and Blood
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There’s a special taking of the bread and wine
But the flesh and blood is mine
Let’s take the photo
And see it through
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Let’s not resurrect or redress
I doubt we’ll meet again
“How unkind!” you say
But the bread and flesh
Was mine
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Simon Mark Smith
1989 and 2018
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When We Wept
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When we wept
The kitchen overflowed
So, that downstairs
Louis O’Keefe’s ceiling cracked
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Eventually I outgrew the understated moments of your life
Like a hat you wore then threw to the gulls for fun
They thought it was food
But I thought it never quite suited you
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1991 and 2018
Simon Mark Smith
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Words you may Eat at Breakfast Then Meet at Supper
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My mouth inside our words warm as your breath
They took an overdose of you, for you
Slow and ruthless in its killing
New life for the old death
Unwritten pages of plagiarism
Rules and stages unpermitted
But then the line ends
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1991 and 2018
Simon Mark Smith
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You Are the Body
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You are the body of a person buried in me
I was touched by the passion of your mimes
You said it was nothing so we said nothing
But we still bowed our heads at the unmarked grave
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1991 and 2018
Simon Mark Smith
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Service Denied
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You stood at your door
In a pale light
Like a soldier ready to die
Eyes open wide
Service denied
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An assassin kissed a child
Mouth open wide
Sentenced and tried
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There was a phrase you read
In a dream or a lie
My mind opened wide
In me you confide
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You asked me what the love meant
But my words came too easily
You said you’d stay
As long as you could leave me
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1991 / 2018
Simon Mark Smith
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Hereditary Prophecy
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Sleep easy
Lay down
Let your heart rest
Let the weight weep from your eyes
Sing harmonies of devotion
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Let the rain in your garden
Be a toy for your children
Unwind strings of confusion
While your curtains gently open
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The queue behind me
Won’t speak the truth either
But that I blame on you
“Oblige me
Forgive me”
They sing untruly
For theirs is the songs of hereditary prophecy
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Simon Smith 1991 and 2018
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2015
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Mime Love
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Sometimes
You’ll tell
Me to go
Away but
Hidden in
Your heart
You
Want Me
And yearn to say
“Don’t ever
Go and please
Forever stay”
But all I ever hear
Are the words
Whilst
The emptiness
Between them
Is just a mute
Mime artist
Delivering the best
Performance
Of our love
In the dark
So good
I exit
Stage
Left
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28/4/15
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NIGHT IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH YOU
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I walked with you
Through the sound of bells
To the taxi
To the hotel
Then in the room with a wooden ceiling
Took off your clothes
And next to me
Your mouth upon mine
You whispered my name
With words that later would come to be
Whispered in dreams again.
Then orange blue upon you
You saw
You saw
You knew
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The clouds for a moment red and green
Before night fell
We prayed:
“Give us our love and friendship this night
As we give our love to each other”
You touched me again
I drank from your skin
And the sweat within
Your mouth breathed into me
The heat of you
Close to
Too much
Almost
Not enough
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The sunrise will, of course, in time
Rise across these empty sheets
Shadows will be long
So as to cover the story of you and me
Between lines that can’t be drawn too easily
And where later I would try to change
To keep you
But lose you all the same
Then once you’d gone
Would change again
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Now night time
It comes again and again
Like a sad old friend
Sitting quietly
Slowly taking everything
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Except that night, back then
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25/04/2015
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Why Couldn’t You Just Tell Me
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01/03/2015
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Why couldn’t you just tell me
That you wanted to go?
I asked if you felt distant
And you replied “no”
So we carried on walking
But you seemed to stray
And I noticed you taking
All we had away
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So I asked you if you were leaving
And you replied “no”
But I looked out the window
And heard the door close
I thought of the love
That had once been so plain
So I asked if you loved me
“Oh, please, not again”
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I thought of what had been
And I saw what remained
And in silence, I stood
My heart filled with pain
And I asked you to tell me
At least to explain
But you spoke of nothing
Not even of blame
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I could feel you aiming
To be just be a friend
“A new beginning”
Speaks nothing of the end
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But when I asked you to be clear
You said “Not again”
As you took one more thing
To bring us closer
To the end
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But why couldn’t you just tell me
That you wanted to go?
It would have helped me to believe
What I already know
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2014
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Poem for a text-to-speech synthesiser
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There is something about the austere reverential trudge
Of a poet reading a poem
That moves me
To a murderous compulsion
Unintended I expect
Rhyming with everything that I regret
And written with the greatest of respect
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26/10/2014
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Simon Mark Smith
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Break It
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Love, I got to see you
My lover, my friend
I got to feel our minds entwine
For all time
Until the end
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Night Time is our quiet time
Dark skies are our friends
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If you’re gonna drive this road one day
You got to pull up close but do not stay
Pull down the roof and let me drive
Recline your seat and watch dark skies
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But don’t you listen
To the rambling of that old man
Cos it’s the secret code of the night sky
That you should never understand
Tonight
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First you gonna take it
Then you’ll make it
Then you’ll mistake it
Then you’ll break it
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Oh you can’t resist
Got to go
Oh illusions
Do exist you know
Oh a secret kiss is there
To show
Truth
What lies below
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I’ll be driving on a long road
In a car that’s silent and true
I’ve got that secret code in my eyes
And all I see is
“I love you”
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05/01/2014
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The Connected
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I sense an impasse
The world betrayed
Souls can’t always be
With those they dream
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Words unsure
Pursue the distancer
Grip tight the meant to be’s
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The journey is for those who know
And for those that doubt
The connected do not think it safe or right
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26/01/2014
Simon Mark Smith
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Autumn Day
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The light it comes
The light it stays
Oh how it comes
Then fades away
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The mist fell cold and low
Around the love we’d made
The rain mixed colours deep
Upon that autumn day?
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And did you breathe the damp air in
When we walked away
And was the rain cold on your skin
Upon that autumn day?
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Oh love it falls
One dark day
Starlings fly
They rise and call
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But why do leaves fall
When they’re so beautiful
Why does love go
When it held us so?
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Keep walking on
Our tears will meet within the sea
And at the end of fear
Life will be waiting here
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Keep moving on
Keep moving though it may freeze
Our love loves on
Our love shines on frozen seas
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Jan 2014
2011
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Not Enough
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There’s not enough money
Not enough love
Not enough ideas coming from above
Not enough children
Not enough food
Not enough people not being rude
Not enough love
Not enough you
Not enough me
Not enough queues
Not enough people unwilling to
Use
Not enough love comes to me
Not enough love comes to she
Not enough love for the Lord
Not enough love for us all
Not enough interest
Not enough pay
Not enough people working today
Not enough warmth
Not enough clothes
Not enough people willing to flow
Not enough people coming
Not enough people willing to go
Not enough people here
Not enough for me to fear
Not enough for you
I’m not enough for you
Not enough love to keep my heart true
To you
Not enough music
Not enough film
Not enough TV to fill me in
Not enough loving coming my way
Not enough poetry to make me stay
Not enough people willing to pray
Not enough people going today
Not enough snow
Not enough rice
Not enough people willing to be nice
Not enough people coming my way
Not enough people willing to pay
Not enough,
Not enough
Not enough for you
Not enough love
For me and you.
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26/12/2011
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Be The One
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Gonna be the one you didn’t want me to be
Be the one to fall to my knees
Be the one to fall at your feet
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26/12/2011
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2010
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To All of You
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To all of you who celebrate
To all of you of a different faith
To all of you alone, or lost, without a home or can’t pay the cost
To all of you for whom death is near, or who’ve lost the life of someone dear
To all of you touched by love, or are falling hard from a bad goodbye
To all of you who suffer pain or have paid the price of another’s gain
To all of you caught up in war, or who can’t see what this hell is for
To all of you in once full rooms, with dreams that live no more
To all of you who see what threatens or those who wait for life to beckon
To all of you who were never mentioned, forced down roads of good intentions
To all of you,
You are us
And we are here
24/12/2010
A.
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2009
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Silent Birds
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“Silent bird trace the horizon”
And in this world atones despair
Where words could meet the sky
I had a blind drunk, blind spot try
Which urged the sky a gale
You read me like a dot of Braille
That ended up stopping
At the end of the line.
You asked to touch me one more time
And one more time and one more time
Your fingers read the scene
But the words you read weren’t what I mean
The silent birds disturbed your touch
Where sad disclosures release the clutch.
Sometimes being word blind is just,
Just a little
Too much like writing double Dutch.
28/05/09
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2008
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Words are Brief
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Yesterday you sent me love,
So many petals scattered
We lay in each others’ arms
The afterimage of your eyes
Is imprinted in mine
Your soft kisses of goodbye
Gently eased the sorrow
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Today, your words are brief
Your kisses are neatly lined
I can not sense the truth
I feel your hand hold mine
Are you just tired
Or will you ask your words
Back home without me?
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May 2008 8:44:55 PM
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2007
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“Meet Me On The Pier” 18 March 2007 Take two
And action
I open the door, you smile at the camera,
The stars that guide you guide me too
Fast forward
We climb the stairs
Rewind
Your fingers kiss
Pause
A moment there
Slow mo replay
In my arms
You rise
I fall
Quiet
From crying laughter
Play Animation sequence
Our naked love Is born
Lip-Sync
My mouth fills with your taste
My heart is full of night,
Fade to white
Your sleepy breathing
Offers me a fall
Make-up!
Then a height
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Jenny is the set ready?
Across the sea the boat lights shine
The stars that guide them guide me too
Zoom, then blur
To the touch of your lips on mine
Can’t wait for the rushes
Roll credits
“My darling, for your love I thank you”
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Jenny
For God’s sake love!
Meet me in the water
Come with me upon our bed
Dissolve
Even if the evening wind
Catches our last breath
Lower lights please
I want to sleep beneath your weight
Under the same roof
Is there something you can’t see
Strobe transitions
Are dreams your truth?
End titles commence
“What if what you do
Kills the love of those who love you?”
Close up
I look in to the sorrow of your gaze
Flash fade
In ecstatic fear you close your eyes
Freeze frame
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Jen!
Meet me on the pier,
Or in the water
Where it meets the sky.
Fade to grey
Meet me in the shadows of our love
Silence please we’re almost finished
And greet me in the kisses of goodbye.
And cut
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The Map
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Sitting in a café
The woman
Behind me
Has walked out
Half drunk
Hot chocolate
Plays on the radio
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Where we had touched
Is visible today
But the traces of you
Shall soon
Be washed away
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The map of our journey
Like a small island
In the strong morning light
Suggests a world
Without you
Punctures
This peace
I am crushed beneath the desert sands
Drowned in the rivers that have run from us
Through the Garden Of Eden
To a land of silence
I am lost
Down stream
“I feel a bit resentful”
“I imagine you do”
“I feel cursed,
To be with someone
Who is not you”
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“I’m sorry, I shall leave reminders of me
And will always remember you.
You’ve been so understanding”
“I have no option”
“Well goodbye then”
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A man jumps through the café door and startles the waitress
He laughs and says “You don’t look like you appreciated that”
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My housekeeper cleans
All traces of you shall be gone
We will both fade into the list of lovers
Whose dreams we learned to forget
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I will sit in a café
Recognise you in a mirror
You’ll notice nothing
I will not reach out
To touch you
I will wonder
What all this was about
And this will be the only evidence
Of my sadness
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Simon Smith 24 March 2007
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2004
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Lest we forget
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I heard you turn away
Your leaving gently freed
The thoughts that fall and rise like sleeping
breathing in me,
The shallow hollow of words agreed
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I have the truth and it is wrong
I would believe your kind
Appeasing kisses
Lying upon my bed
Your breathing is strong,
Long,
Once gone
It smells of broken dreams
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I read your thoughts upon the moon light
You’ll escape through the covers
Shadows chased us to this moment
In time
For a long time
You whisper to a dream that I am yours
While you gesture you’re not and will never be mine.
Again
The moon struck a shadow
Upon these words
Where it was light you laughed
Silence betrayed the rest
And what was left was hushed
And marked
” Lest we forget”
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09/08/2005
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Four kisses
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I do not fear death
I fear losing you though
There was a life before we met
And this life
With the you that I know
Your love, like a dying soul
Has lost its memory
And you may be gone soon
But this connection
Is four kisses wide
And a thousand
Painful missed
Kisses deep
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I will wait for you a while
I will hold our breath
I will hold you ’til you
Dream without me
Until you no longer
Hold me
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Then these four kisses
Will tell of what you cared
To forget
And I wish you’d remember
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X X X X – Each for our connection
between mind, body, heart and soul. To A
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20/06/2005
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4 nights
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You’re asleep one thousand miles away
I feel your head weigh quiet upon my shoulder
Your fading breath rises to darkness
This is the sky that connects us
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Your face turns towards me
Your lips touch mine in passing
Your breath enters me
Draws me deeper into our dreams
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I feel the pain you sleep upon
The fast of misunderstanding’s echoes
40 days and 40 years
And 4 nights of pain remain
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In the darkness
Holding you
I await
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24th December 2004 – To A
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Breakfast memory
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The bread is as we left it this morning
Its slices have draped themselves into the shape of a figure sleeping
Breakfast debris across the table, a movement forgotten
Has dreamt of nothing since we silenced this house of laughter
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The winter light has brushed the shadows
To extremes of yearning
From the rush
To the hush of our departure
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I will sleep upon stones when you’re not with me
In the morning your half-opened eyes will heal me
In the tea we pour is our compassion
In the bread that we eat is our daily life
Shared in the love of morning.
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07/12/2004 – To A
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Calling you
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You stand in this public place
For privacy
You’re at the top of the stairs talking on your mobile phone
I pass you
I want to step in to your arms, back first, look round
My closed mouth stroking across your face
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The signal is bad
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The staircase is white
I can’t stop my self from singing
“She’s buying a stairway to heaven”
But actually I feel it’s me who’s started making offers
But ended up begging.
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As I work
Your dark figure wraps around my mind
I want to keep you in the corner of my eye
But your eyes pour tears into mine
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When we are distant I close my eyes
To affirm your intention of non participation
But when you are near
I want to feel you empty yourself within me
Your heaviness upon me
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Boots and a skirt I can not help but laugh
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You ask me to sing a song for you
My heart and breath serenade habitual dark longing echoes
But from where you are there is just the sound of a voice saying
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“Hello I can’t hear you
Can you hear me?”
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And then just silence.
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To A and EH
© Simon Smith London September 2004
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These days are not forever
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These days are not forever
They will slide in to our history
Like paper on a river
One day they’ll float out to sea
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These days are gonna float away
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Sometimes you’ll be here
Taking my heart
Some days you’ll feel here
At the start
.
But come to me
And you’ll feel my heart despair
And my breath upon your neck
And my face against your hair
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Sometimes you’ll feel that the night is dark as ice
And the love we had is all we had to guide us to paradise
.
The darkest night will come to you
No matter where you hide
It’s part of life she says to me
As she takes me inside
.
But the darkest night
Can be warm inside
Can be warm
For you and I
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We live in a world
Where strangers come
And greet us like old friends
They come with gifts that make us feel good
And leave us to defend against the hatred
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31 / 07 / 04
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Leaning evening
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I lean out my window to feel the warm air brush me with good news.
My neighbours are laughing,
Another’s barking dog is hushed
His name escapes down the street
“Archie!”
Then it is quiet
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The smell of cooked food from a thousand gardens pleads with me
I look along the path for a hungry neighbour
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Car light searchlights warn me
Of a curfew’s virtue
I keep my room dusky for now
Wrapped in shadowed blurriness
A cyclist treads slow past my window
The wind’s low
My papers rustle to the floor
And these trees echo the gentle shiverings
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16/06/2004
© Simon Smith
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The poems beyond this point are mainly laid out chronologically and are unedited for now.
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2003
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You read my words
But my voice is as silent as light
My heart darts in
And out of shadows
Between buildings
Photographs of me are falling from trees
But to you they are merely leaves
.
To you I am a doubt
You look for a face
Through the eyes of a mask
I am a soldier of infidelity
Carrying the light of mystery
In to your version of reality
.
Written with the help of an online friend “Rachel”
27th March 2003
.
.
I am alone at my place.
.
Your joke walks in the room
We break the silence
Your fingers trace laughter lines
That bind me to you
Moments snatched and stretched linger
I am frightened by their enormity
And confused by this feeling’s simplicity
.
I fell backwards into the river
Your arms catch me unaware
Where I expected to be shocked
Is a wave of calm silently washing over me.
.
18th May 2003
.
You are spinning slowly in the corner of my eye
.
A crowd gathers around, applauds your beauty
I feel the emptiness drone through
Your audience is smiling, gazing at your eyes
You walk off stage, no one has seen you
My eyes are full of tears seeping through a dream
.
I am standing above a seated woman
She faces away from me
I breathe in her scent
Breathing in a memory
“I have waited ten life-times to meet you
I am willing to wait 10 more”
Breathing memories between lives
Two swans swim in the black sky river
I recognise your beauty in this silence
.
May 24th 2003
.
Everything that Dies
.
Comes to sleep in dreams
The bright sun light shines
I dance this way
I dance that way
With you for a second
The heat reaching up
I’m scared of the fear
How many hands have passed upon your face?
Fading life, failing light, words insight
My finger follows the journey of your smile
To a life reserved.
But not for me
.
A dog in the evening sunlight smells the air
I dance a circle around him
His eyes half close
I push my face into his neck
I am connected to you
Through everything anywhere.
.
It does not matter that you aren’t there.
.
May 27th 2003
.
.
I step left
.
Your sword rushes air upon my face
Slow motion moments are drawing quietly
.
It is not death that strikes fear through me
But your wish to help me die in agony
.
Your eyes search for weakness
Mine sense your yearning
.
I sway my right side away from you
Your imbalance is an opportunity
.
You start to fall, your face sleeps
You dream of surrendering
.
Your hands grip ever harder
We do not plan to die
.
Only the moment slides.
.
28th May 2003
She walks out of our home
.
“I’ll probably be back later, when will you be out?” The place is a mess.
.
I feel calm, slightly sad, not sure what to do with myself.
Not panicking, but waiting for a compulsive urge to search her out
I have been searching for her for 9 years and have not found her
I mourned for her throughout this whole time
.
Here at the end of the grieving she closes the door but takes the keys
“Relationships don’t end they just change” I said when I asked her to leave
.
It’s a windy grey rainy landscape we stand in
These cross roads are painted across my mind (they cross in anger, our paths keep crossing, separating ways, and crossing our hearts).
Where we crucify our love and pray for it to rest in peace or find resurrection, and for it to forgive our trespasses.
.
Goodbye means God be with you
And in every goodbye is an echo of every goodbye we endured.
.
22/06/2003
.
.
Words written on my mobile phone while driving through America
.
It doesn’t matter that you’re not here
That you don’t call me
Or tell me where you are,
You’re in my mind still
Moving through the world.
.
Missing you,
You are sleeping 6000 miles away.
Can you feel my sadness?
.
l would call you but you are happier dreaming.
As you wake I lay my head to rest.
Our heads are together briefly.
.
l reach out but you are already preparing for your day.
So I close my eyes and dream you are with me.
DREAM:
.
You and I are talking
I notice you are starting to cry.
l give you a gesture of a hug and unlike in real life you reciprocate.
.
Then we are standing / sitting on a railway line
As I move closer you move away almost unconsciously
So I tell you and you laugh, then you move towards to me.
.
Dream Ends
We are all looking for someone to fall in to.
Some one who we still think is beautiful after our lust has gone.
Someone we can trust not to betray us
Who can hold us close in their mind when we aren’t there.
Someone we can fall in to.
Who like a trampoline
Will help us to land safely and bounce back again.
.
It is enough to be near you
.
Late July to early August 2003
.
.
I can not read the words in front of me
.
I Listen for the sound of your key turning in the door
I Walk through the house looking for you
I Listen for your voice
Every taxi that pulls up
I hope carries you on a compulsive quest
.
I Want to bring you what you need
I Want to help you where I can
.
But you will not enter,
Will not speak,
Will not ask
And will not trust me.
9th August 2003
.
.
I can not bear that you’re not here
.
Each tear that falls from my eyes
Hits true
Upon you like a pin
And though I want for you and I to be together
Neither of us knows whether that’s a dream
Sliding away from reality
.
Tonight driving through the hot drunk crowds of a Saturday in August
My throat felt constricted by an invisible hand
My chest felt squeezed tight
I wanted to be gently sleeping next to you
Your legs resting around me until the heat became too much.
.
The whole world could disappear.
.
Tonight I entered my dark house alone
No cats, lover, lodgers or friends to greet me,
But notions of love hold me upright
.
I mourn you so much in this silence.
.
I know I will be happy again
I will hold you tomorrow maybe
Yet one day we will part forever
And tonight I am remembering that
And all the other love that washed upon me
Then fled with the moon.
.
10th August 2003
.
.
A million people sit together, alone waiting.
.
Listening for their lost one’s key to turn
Looking out the window at every passing taxi
In case their love is returning
Walking through every room to see if they’ve come home
Finding only sunlight cast across their bed
.
Fear racks through every pore,
A slight sweat that is too warm
No hunger –
The D diet (depression, divorce, distance, dislocated, disenchanted)
.
In dreams she is still here.
I will sleep until I come alive again
.
15th august 2003
.
.
You sleep in white rooms
.
Time ticks slowly from
This way
I turn and time moves slower still
Nine years have passed
Memories move me
Vivid as yesterday
I watch you sleeping
Nine years ago
This morning
I can not tell the difference
We are sleeping in white rooms
Seasons swirl in circles slowly round us
Their colours lightly touch the wall
I kiss you gently
But you do not stir
.
13 September 2003
.
.
Poems from the Microsoft greetings Card commission
.
Here’s a link to the one that made it
Someone from Microsoft called me on friday and asked if I could prepare a poem for Monday. I came up with about 25 ideas over the weekend. Here’s a couple from the short list.
November 2002
.
.
This next poem was meant to be about my relationship with “my talent” …. erhum …. well that’s what they asked for.
.
We will meet on Bridges across the Thames at 5 am
In smoky bars you’ll capture my heart and
At dawn let it go again
You inspire my children in laughter
Take my thoughts and turn them in to others
Lay gifts at the root of my journeys
Trickle miracles through my fingers
Bring words of peace to troubles
Read poetry in the darkness
Sing silence within me
Give to receive me
Your love to
Teach me
Let me
Be
November 24th 2002
.
.
The cold air stroked across my face
Someone joined the gathering
The warm, damp breath of cattle
Hushed shuffling and mutterings
.
Upon the straw bed that was mine
That I had laid fresh this day
Water trickled
Like a miracle
.
.
“It’s beautiful but it’s freezing out there”
I look through the window at the silent moonlit land that I call home
I am reflected in the glass, like the ghost of summers past
I swivel around to look back at the windows on my screen
See the places where my dreams have been born laughing to the world
Tonight I’ll take the words we said and bounce them to the moon and back
.
Just for the crack
.
I used to stand alone
But now the connections permeate my meaning
Those soulful eyes across the world have looked upon me
And filled me with the freedom joy brings and the gratitude of being
.
Somewhere beneath the snow lie a billion seeds waiting
And every star above me is a soul queuing to live
Declaration of Dependence
A week ago, we met for the last time
You returned my declaration of dependence
I thanked you for our time together
But now, I’m tired of it all and I feel little for you
.
.
21.10.1990 Simon Smith
.
In the silences of indecision
.
In the silences of indecision
The brink of loving.
You cut out my name
I’ll visit the spot
The criminal always does
.
When that child wept
The kitchen overflowed with tears
So that downstairs
Mr O’Keefe’s ceiling cracked
.
I saw you there once
Walking through the understated moments of your life
You took the hat from your head
And laughing threw it to the gulls
.
Mercilessly they thought it was food
.
Simon Mark Smith
1990/2022
.
.
.
.
Waiting Forever
.
.
.
.
One day I won’t feel a thing for you
I’ll forget I was waiting forever for you to find me
.
.
Simon Mark Smith
2007
.
.
The Right Decision
.
.
The closer I drive to where you might be
The greater the rod of cold burning fear
Impaling me to you,
Holding me to your breast
Where I bite too hard, and you move away betrayed
.
.
You walk to and from the kitchen
Each time I watch you
I see your nipples push through your loose T-shirt
And I want you to come to me
Sit astride of my hips
And place my cock inside you
And come deep within you
Make a child in you
.
.
But I have already said that it is time we parted
That we cannot go anywhere together and be happy
That a child is a dark proposition
That love and lust is not enough
.
.
.
.
Lately the war has moved from you and I to inside me
Emotions and rationality combine for some bloody fighting
Leaving me shattered upon our bed
Where I watch you pass to and fro’
.
Soon you ‘Il be gone
My children will ask if you’re home
And I will try not to cry in front of them
Then I’ll recall a bad moment between us and know it is right to part now
.
But this is surgery without anaesthetic
Anger may help like an intermediary
But eventually sadness covers everything
And then a slow healing
.
In future dreams
We meet outside a hospital and as strangers find a café
Drinking tea, we’ll ask of the time between now and then
Of the new partners and directions we found
And of how to part was the right decision
But for now my addiction to you means to me that’s not true
.
Simon Mark Smith 2002
.
.
Sweet Nothings
.
.
Behind me
Their hands run down my back
Between my legs
Turn me over and hold me
My defence
A vague memory of regret and coldness
Together, they and I, will leave the gift of loneliness
“Don’t worry,” they laugh, “There’s always the seven wondrous escapes,
They’ll lead you all the way back to insignificance”
Still, their touch is warm and sweet
Whispering now
‘I ache for you, and I ache from you’
I always look forward to the taste of sweet nothings
.
.
Simon Mark Smith 1990/2022
.
.
The birds spiralled
.
.
.
The birds spiralled
A storm
Where the sunlight shone
A shadow blackened field
Shimmered darkness
Hands waved in the wind
The birds spiralled down
And one by one settled
.
.
.
.
Simon Mark Smith
1990/2022
.
.
.
.
The earliest thoughts are lost
.
.
I had a friend called JoJo
When we both caught measles, he asked if they were German
Lee Roy and I danced in a lightning storm
Africa connected us
.
.
Simon Mark Smith
1990
.
.
The Last Meetings
.
.
The position of your stance
The distance silenced you
I asked you for a word
You smiled “It was nothing”
So, I said nothing
.
.
I felt our love
Lowered in the ground
.
.
In your hair flowers grew
White for idealism
Black for forgetfulness
Red for the passion of your moving mimes
All that had been good was quietly buried in an unmarked grave
In some corner, forever idealised and forgotten.
.
.
© 1990 Simon Mark Smith
.
.
THE WAKING MOMENTS
.
.
If I dreamed I had you here
Would the waking moments
Always be too near
.
.
Could the dream be all I need?
Or would the waking moments
Always be a second to concede
.
.
If I dreamt, we’d be together
Would the waking moments
Always be too soon forever
Always be inside of me
.
.
Simon Mark Smith 22. 6. 1990
.
.
Three People
.
.
Three people in a field in gowns that flow dark flames
The worst thing is
Not knowing when the bad got in
.
.
Simon Mark Smith
1990/2022
.
.
Where Children Lie
.
.
Where children lie down their hearts,
And wept for joy and the smiling mother
Turn around and show them your pain
An old man sits down in the sun
On sand-filled pillows
Waving goodbye
A candle flickers
Smiling yellow teeth.
Standing on the roadside
I kiss your brow
A tighter muscle now
I feel your heart gripping at my chest
Like the noise children make playing
.
.
At night sometimes you pray
Sometimes you touch me
Your presence in every muttered silence
.
.
You bathed in the water
The water turned to wine
And wine became his blood
.
.
Decay in your skin
I scratch mine off before sleeping
I could kiss your bones
If I loved your soul
I would grasp your meaning,
.
.
Your tear drops on my tongue
Soothe my lust
I’ll pretend to sleep
.
.
You bathed in the blood, and the blood turned to loving
And the loving turned to blood
.
.
Simon Mark Smith
Sunday 9th March 1986/2022
.
.
Without Love
.
.
Sleep easy tonight
Lay down
Let your heart sleep
Let the weight weep from your eyes and in cool sunlight rise
.
.
Let memories of devotion
Lay veils upon your dream ocean
Let night fall upon you
Hold me
Let rainbows come to your garden
Let the end of the rainbow be a toy for your children
Unwind strings of devotion
A breeze blows your curtains open
Children fly past the window night
Love me, hold me
Hold me to the light
.
.
Along the sea front a man walks carrying a gun
Children of devotion are at one
Hold me,
Yeah these people behind me, whispering behind me
These things I do,
Whispered to me
And blamed on you.
.
.
.
Compulsion,
Impulsion,
Scratch that itch
.
.
.
-Chastity, liberty, poverty, hereditary, obligatory,
oblige me, forgive me, love me, just be a victim to me
.
.
.
Lie down in front of me
Lie down in front of me
Be a player ln my fantasy
Break my heart in fantasy
Fulfil this prophecy
.
.
Cry to me, lie to me,
love me with prophecies
Lie down with me
Be an actress in my fantasy
Without
Love
Me
.
.
Simon Mark Smith – summer 1991
.
.
Without Words
.
.
You’re sitting on the couch
You pout at me, then standing up
Say you forgive me
Slapping me on my head playfully
Without a word
You walk away forever
I look out the window into your eyes
I know this story well
The end is the beginning of another tale
.
.
Simon Mark Smith 2007
.
.
You Don’t Seem to Move
.
.
You don’t seem to move
But behind that strobe of light
You dance
Dance and I shall feel
Not see you
Move me in never-ending circles
Move me in blue waters
.
And I shall kiss
Your breathless lips
Your aching hips
With the sounds of water sleeping
.
This moment
Soft as your hair
Like love on a purple sky day
Breathing together on a bed
.
Simon Mark Smith
20/11/83 and edited 2022
.
.
.
.
Your Mouth
.
.
.
.
Once you said ‘love me’
My nose stroked along your neck
‘Stop there’
We did so
.
.
.
.
‘Let’s watch the sky’
You screamed out
‘Love me’
.
.
We sat back and watched a late film.
I cried
And kissed you once
While you were sleeping
.
.
.
You shattered into a fall of glass
I found your mouth on diamond-shaped sliver
I hid it in my chest away from those crying eyes
.
.
.
.
For fun, you ate me from the inside
.
.
© Simon Mark Smith 1990
.
.
